This week I also spent 10 minutes at Morden South station.
And I have more questions. Why is nobody else here?
That's because Morden South is the fifth least-used station in London with just 76,000 passengers a year, or 200 a day. Hence you walk in and the place is usually deserted, not even a member of staff to keep an eye on things, just an elevated island platform and some butterflies.
Where is everyone?
They're ten minutes up the road at Morden tube station which has 8 million passengers a year. That's because it has trains every two or three minutes to central London whereas Morden South has unreliable dawdly trains that take 40 minutes to get to Blackfriars and only run every half hour. Of course you'd go to Morden instead. What went wrong?
In the 1920s two railway companies competed to bring services to this part of London and, following Parliamentary disapproval, had to agree to share the spoils. The City & Southern, which later became the Northern line, was only allowed as far as Morden. Meanwhile the Southern Railway got to build its line all the way to Sutton, thereby denying all those beyond Morden a decent service even 100 years later.
Why the pink stripes?
I think it's a Thameslink thing. I don't think it's a current Thameslink thing. Is it just me who gets Merton and Morden muddled up?
It really doesn't help having two consecutive stations called South Merton and Morden South. Things were a lot simpler pre-suburbia when Merton and Morden were very distinct places. Then new station names distorted things, so for example the original village of Merton now has a station called South Wimbledon, the original village of Morden is best served by St Helier and the tube station at Morden is immediately opposite Merton Civic Centre. How many other London stations are two anagrammable words?
In this case that's Modern Shout. The next double-anagrammable station is just up the line at Shout Mentor, whereas the best we can do at Wimbledon Chase is Bowelmind Aches and that's not proper.
What is that typeface?
It is perhaps two typefaces, one for the station name, the other for the signs. I really like the former. What's it like inside the humungous mosque nextdoor?
This is a question I wondered last year, which is why for Open House I took up the offer of an hour-long tour within. It's a vast complex, built 20 years ago on the site of a former Express Dairy and reopened in 2023 after a nasty fire. One end feels more like a conference centre and events venue, the far end has the prayer hall with space for 6000 worshippers, and once you get past the metal detectors the main walkway is both florally and geometrically impressive.
How many types of automated parcel lockers are there?
I ask because there are two sets of parcel lockers at the entrance to the station, one branded InPost, the other Amazon. A few steps away at Morden Sorting Office the lockers are Royal Mail specific, whereas it's over a mile to the nearest Evri lockers at the Lord Nelson. Is that the full set? Apparently this is a Category C step-free station. What are these categories?
Category A: step-free access to all platforms
Category B1: step-free access to all platforms but may include long/steep ramps or street-level interchange
Category B2: some step-free access to all platforms (not as good as B1)
Category B3: step-free access to fewer than the total number of platforms
Category C: no step-free access to any platform
What's the point of a Meeting Point?
At busy stations, sure, but here? Nobody's going to miss spotting someone at a near-ghost station with one entrance and one island platform. How long before most rail replacement buses are scrapped?
The Rail Replacement Bus Information poster at Morden South says 'when trains are unable to run...dedicated rail replacement buses will not serve this station'. Cheers for that. I know it's a little-used line but it's hardly fair to make people pay more for their usual journey, and alas increasingly so. Do City AM end up throwing most of their papers away?
Mid-morning, well after any commuters would have passed through, I counted about 80 pristine copies of City AM in the hopper by the bus stop. Most of these are never going to be read, they'll just be binned the following morning when the next edition arrives. City AM has a certified daily circulation of 68,338, but how many of those are actually read?
Why do National Rail stations display out-of-date bus spider maps?
The spider map at Morden South is dated September 2015 and shows five local routes. The three that stop outside are still correct but the other two were both changed in March 2024, thus the map is misleading. I found a much worse spider map at Barnes Bridge station yesterday, dated August 2014 and still showing six routes crossing Hammersmith Bridge. Were these TfL stations the maps would have been removed without replacement, but maybe it's a good thing to still have something even if it's not correct. Could they rewild more station platforms?
Beyond the canopy the centre of the island platform has been left to seed, so at this time of year a long green strip is alive with grasses, wild flowers and butterflies. It's lovely to stand beside, especially when your next train could be a very long time away. How many other unused bits of platforms around London could be enlivened this way?
Who is the sanctimonious moral crusader?
All the stations down this loop have laminated messages stuck to the shelters urging station users to behave better. [Today's fun of Vandalising is tomorrow's unsafe Station and Locality. BE SAFE!] I think only Morden South has the full set of four. [Your Local Station reflects YOU! Let's be proud and keep it clean!] [This is your Local station. Why Graffiti/Destroy? It only reflects you!] Whose self-righteous idea was this? [If we want the world to change, we first have to change Ourselves] If I had a spraycan, I think these misjudged posters are the first thing I'd smother.
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